I love being a mom to all of these kids, I do, I really do!

I realize when I was a young mom I dreamed of leaving the house often to be around other people and I was never satisfied just being at home. I worked all my teenage years and it was a hard adjustment for me and I unfortunately yelled a lot, I have realized that yelling is a huge form of selfishness, because while I am yelling I am thinking of all of my selfish feeling and wanting more me time, again never satisfied! But I have since then toned it down and really love being just at home and being with my kids, I learn tons from them! The only time I really feel the amount of kids is when we are all sick then it seems like I need five more of myself to help take care of everyones needs. We have had our fair share, ok more than our fair share of sicknesses since we have moved. We have had, just to name a few, HA, the stomach flu three times (that's a record for us), Croup, Hand foot and mouth disease, pneumonia, viral infections, Chicken Pox, Coughs, Ect. The scriptures say that all trials are for our benefit and learning and I well...I can say that I have learned tons more about my self and how much I can really handle. Sloane has been working a ton, mostly it's because it's the first year of a newer job so the first year is always the busiest. So I have had to be put in positions that I don't like, like laying the hammer down with my teenagers (I usually leave that up to Sloane just because I am too soft and give in easy and they know that and take advantage) so I've become tougher and knowing that I can stay calm and still deal with an annoying teenager who chooses to be defiant. I love that we were inspired to move here even though I was fighting it because I was comfortable where I was living in Boise, this has been the best move we have ever made and we've had confirmations on that, like when Sloane was set apart to work in the Young mens the bishop told him in the blessing that we are here for a reason, that was exciting to hear that. I love that we are having another baby, I know it's hard to imaging nine, but the Lord doesn't give us anything we can't handle and then when we've had just about enough of that trial, it lets up a little and then the blessings pour in.  I try to be happy every day and just enjoy the little things in my life, even if a little someone makes me crazy because I have cleaned up his messes all day long. I wake up every day to cute chubby and some not so chubby little faces that want a kiss and a hug from mommy, oh I just love that! I wake up to dirty diapers but while changing them enjoy seeing their little faces bright from just waking up and saying cute things. I was partly sleeping on the couch the other day tired while the kids watched a movie and the whole time they would want to sit and snuggle, give kisses, pat me to let me know that they are there to give me a smile, and so on. I love that feeling of being their mommy and knowing what their needs are even though they are all different. I love being inspired to know what to say to my older children right at the moment they need to hear it. I love that my children love being with each other (most of the time). I love that they are affectionate to each other and to Sloane and I.  I love watching them grow spiritually and knowing that we had some kind of influence for the good that way. I love mothers intuition, it's a great gift from god! I love that my children trust me and want my opinion on things. I love hearing especially from my older children that I am the best mommy. I love to hear from other parents that they love my kids and love that they are hard workers and love to serve. I love that they strive to want to learn the gospel and ask questions when we have scripture study. I love that they try to explain what the scriptures are trying to say, even if they don't really have a clue, I think it's great that they even try! I love that my husband works with me as a team! I love that we have date nights every weekend. I love that he wants to go to the temple with me as often as I do. I love that we think alike but yet different. I love that we both love and enjoy being with our children. I love pillow talks with my husband. I love his great ideas that he comes up with. I love watching him fly kites, wrestle every Sunday afternoon with our kids, and just play with our kids. I love it that we try to serve each other even if it's not easy, like he gets up with the kids even though he went to bed late with me but he figures he's more of a morning person than me, takes care of the kids when he gets home from work when he sees that I am done and tired even though he's worked hard all day.  I iron his shirts (I hate ironing), I will wash his work clothes seperately (that's hard because I have hundereds of loads to do every day), cut his hair even if I am tired, make his protein shakes and sometimes load up all the kids to take it to his work for him. There's more but that's good for now. We have learned that complaining that you have more than your spouse to do is a selfish thing and so it's better to serve and help each other out and do little things for each other and it makes for a better marriage. Really just like the scriptures say men are that they might have joy, and if I remember the little things every day that make me feel true joy then I can and will enjoy ever day and stay spiritually centered and remember that the troubles of the world or even at home are temperal and not eternal and that we can have joy everyday if we stay spiritually centered. I know that this is long but since this is the only time I write in any kind of journal, I wanted to remember all of my thoughts and feelings.